Be My {Snarky} Valentine!

Warning: if you adore Valentine's Day, dislike snarky cards, are easily offended at a bad joke, are on medication that states you should avoid terrible jokes or hate hearts you should close your browser window now. The following greatly makes fun of...well...let's go with 'Hallmark holidays'. So, if you're not into that kind of thing here's a picture of a kitten to distract you. Now shoo - no need for hurt feelings.

Still with me? Well then, welcome my fellow snark-lovers! It's Jennifer here with a terrible, horrible Valentine for you today that still has me laughing. While I'm now happily married and am free of the Valentine stress of my youth, I still remember detesting this "holiday" - tons of happy couples wandering around looking all dewy-eyed at each other, overpriced roses, stuffed animals saying " I {heart} you!"....BARF. I was bitter and alone and made no qualms about it. Heck, I still avoid overpriced roses...but that's another rant.

Drawing upon those feelings (and remembering a few people who were downright depressed that they were alone on Valentine's Day), this card was born:


For the card base, I diecut (2) large hearts, scored the second about 1/4" down from the top, then set it aside for stamping and assembly. From the same die set I grabbed a smaller heart then stamped it up with Phineas tail swirls in Hero Arts Bubblegum Pink ink. I selectively stamped half the sentiment on the outside here, then heat embossed it with Hero Arts Fine White Embossing powder. To finish off the front, I punched two small hearts from the same deep pink as the card base, then coated them with my clear Wink of Stella and Glossy Accents.

Pretty, right? Wait for it...

Ohhh, BURN!
I stamped the second half of the sentiment inside and heat embossed it as well. One last heart out of the lighter pink with Wink of Stella and Glossy Accents again. You can see here how the front heart attached to the back with the score mark to make a fully-functional, shaped card. I used the Tombow Xtreme Adhesive to make sure that baby stayed glued down.

My poor husband didn't know whether to laugh or cry when he saw this card. I told him he's just lucky to have me. ;)

So Suzy Stamps supplies used:
Valentine's Day stamp
Clear Wink of Stella
Phineas the Peacock

By the way, this card totally qualifies for our February challenge - Love. Just sayin'.

Don't forget, So Suzy Stamps can also be found on InstagramFacebookPinterest and Twitter! Be sure to join us there and find more inspiration and fun (and some snark)!

Happy Crafting, my snarky friends!

12 comments:

  1. LMFAO I am literally laughing so hard I may have wet myself! FABULOUS post, AMAZING card and I think I need a bunch to mail out to select friends! THIS is OH SO SUZY!

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  2. Fabulous card! You are now an Honorary Member of the Elite So Suzy Snark Fan Club! Well Done and Welcome! BTW We won't love you the other 365 days either!
    Warm & Fuzzies From the SSS Fan Club Founding Member, her mom :)

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    1. Wahoo! That means a lot coming from you. :D

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    2. Wahoo! That means a lot coming from you. :D

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  3. I love this card! Super cute and funny Jennifer! :)

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  4. I knew this stamp had made you snap last thursday my friend. Let me know if you sell any LoL!

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  5. Bwahahaha! This is such a fantabulous card!

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  6. Jen, this is wonderful. Snarky you did a fabulous job!

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  7. Muahhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha this is AWESOME!!!!! And perfect for A is for Anti Valentine!!! Thanks so much for joining the sisterhood of snarky stampers for the "Snarker's Choice" challenge to help us celebrate our first blogiversary / birthday!

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Woo hoo! Comment time! I totally do a little happy dance every time a new one pops up!